Some time in late 2005 or early 2006, as we were trying to figure out what to do with ourselves as a family, I applied to a position at Hewlett Packard. The position was in Houston. I am fairly sure I applied through careerbuilder.com, and it brought up an HP job portal to apply with. It was pretty awful, if I recall correctly.

Some time later, I got this gem:

From: HP Human Resources ercwww2@hp.com
Date: March 3, 2006 12:52:42 PM PST
To: <color=”black”>REDACTED
Subject: Thank You from HP

March 03, 2006

Dear Candidate,

Thank you for your internal application for the position of Handheld Engineering Manager, requisition #896972.  HP is committed to providing internal opportunities to its current workforce and we are pleased with your interest to expand and grow your career opportunities.

We had many inquiries regarding this opening.  After careful consideration of your application, we regret to inform you that we will be pursuing other candidates for this opening.  We appreciate you taking the time to post internally for this position and encourage you to continue to pursue your career goals with HP.

We encourage you to explore the myriad of career opportunities available at HP utilizing Job Searcher (accessible via the @hp portal or directly at http://staffing.corp.hp.com/recruitsoft/js_main_panel.asp

HP is committed to providing our employees opportunities for career growth.  Please keep in mind the positions in Job Searcher are updated on a daily basis.  We also strongly recommend that you continue to discuss your career goals and aspirations with your manager.  Thank you again for your internal application.

Wishing you continued success in your career with HP!

Sincerely,

Hewlett-Packard Company

Please note the following:

• Your application and any additional information you provide to us will be added to our international resume database located in the United States and Canada and will be used only for the purpose of reviewing your skills and interests against job openings at HP.
• This resume database will be shared with third parties acting on behalf of HP who may be located in other geographies.  These third parties are under contract to HP and bound by terms of confidentiality and the same data privacy rules in usage at HP.
• If there has been no activity on your candidate information in six months, it will be removed from our database.
• You may use Job Searcher to update or make changes to your profile.  Use of this site indicates your acceptance of the Terms of Use.
• If you would like to delete your profile from our database, please send an email to resume@hp.com.  Within the subject line of your email message, please reference “Delete from database”.  Please include your full name and mailing address within the body of your email message.
• Replies to this message are undeliverable and will not reach HP’s Human Resource Department.

Wow. I am still dumbfounded. Some points:

• I have never worked at HP, so why would this be considered an internal hire?
• I wonder if they shared my resume with third parties acting on behalf of HP?
• I am glad that they will remove my entry after six months of inactivity.
• I guess I had to count on them deleting my profile automatically after six months, since I could not access their internal site. I did not try that email address.
• Replies don’t work.

This is a seriously messed up email on so many levels. I’m glad I never went to work at this company.